Baby Shower Troubles?
My friend is having a baby in mid November and I’ve decided to give her a suprise shower in the begining of October. She made a baby shower list because family wanted to know what to buy her and so did I, but she put on a lot of VERY expensive items that I don’t think I could give to everyone. She wants this a thousand dollar crib and 0 changing table and she wants all of these designer clothes for the baby. I showed the list to a co-worker that is helping me plan the shower and she said that I better talk to her or no one will get her a thing on that list.
How do I tell my friend that she needs to find cheaper stuff on the list? She’s going through mood swings right now so I have to pick a perfect time, plus not spoil the suprise of the baby shower.
Her mom is taking her out to coffee, it’s going to be a pretty laid back shower so she can just wear what she wears everyday and then we’ll suprise her. We know she wants a shower cause she’s hinted it.
actual registries are better.
high dollar items should be left to family & close friends to volunteer to get… not put on a registry, unless you’re super rich, and have super rich friends, you can’t ask for $500-$1000 items… those furniture items are things your mother buys you or your inlaws do.
a store registry is more appropriate to put in an invitation anyway… putting a printed/handwritten list in an invitation is tacky. put in the little business card they give you or hand write "the mommy to be is registered at Babies R Us, available instore or online for your convenience". Now on there a few bigger items are still appropriate – I had a $200 play yard as my top item… but there are always people who mean well, who really care, but only have $10 to spare, it does not mean they don’t care, it just means they’re broke!!
so registering for basic items like towels and onesies, shampoo, and socks are important also. Plus you never know if someone is going to spend $100 and prefers to get a baby bathtub and fill it with stuff instead of an overpriced designer outfit that will be spit up on and out grown in less than a month.
Well, I would not worry about it. She will just get tings that are not on her list. She can then return the things that she does not want, and get the things she wants.
It isn’t your problem. Just plan a great baby shower for her, and the rest is up to her.
I chose an expensive crib too because the baby will be able to use it on up to a twin bed. The best thing to do is not to discourage her because this is what she wants. So don’t burst her bubble at all. What you do is tell everyone to get gift cards where she is registered at then she will have part of the money for the crib and table and such. Another thing to do is to have a money tree. Have an artifical house plant like a tree, real or fake, at the shower and you be the first to put an envelope on it with some money in it. Then she will have the cash once again, to put down on the crib and she can come up with the rest. This is what my family did for me and it worked out well and I got what I wanted. So, I would try not to involve her because she’s got plenty on her plate right now.
Jennifer
I’d like to add that I don’t EVER think surprise showers are a good idea. Add to that that you don’t know how to approach this friend at times, and you’re just asking for drama.
Just ask her if she’d like to have a shower. What’s so hard about that? Some people don’t, you know. If she does, I’d bet someone that wants such expensive items would like to be "dressed & ready" for such an occasion, and would be uncomfortable not being prepared.
If she does say she wants a shower, take her to some less expensive places to shop, and get her to register for ALL items she’ll need, which surely include less expensive items, like the little things- pacifiers, diapers, bath items, plain undershirt onesies, etc.
Then she can be registered for a range of items. Just because she has registered for expensive items, that doesn’t mean people have only those items to choose from. You never know, even though it seems like it’s a lot of money, there is often some loved one or group of people who chip in for those expensive items. Let those items be, just get your friend to add some more.
Don’t tell her, people will find similar items that are less expensive. Chances are no one is going to get her anything off the list, but you are being a good friend and showing people what she wants. You might mention to her that it would be a good idea to also register somewhere like Macy’s or Target…. because then people could buy her gifts online if they can’t make it to the store she has on her list. If people give you a weird look, who cares? It’s not your list.
I agree that a surprise shower is not in the best interest of your friendship. If she’s not "presentable" when she arrives then she’s going to be upset. Remember that she is in a fragile emotional state right now. Maybe you could ask for gift cards from what ever store these items are located. She could then put the cards together to purchase the items that she wants.
I would recommend talking with her, and letting her know that you would like to do a shower. Ask if she would like to register (and recommend stores such as Target and Babies R Us), or if she would like for the gifts to be surprises or gift cards and diapers. Chances are she didn’t realize why you wanted the list to begin with, so she just put the things that she likes. Maybe just to show you how she plans on decorating.
Good luck!!
People that attend the shower are going to buy whatever they want and can afford…I rarely rely on "the list". I like to buy practical items that I like (diapers, blankets, bottles, clothing, etc.). Trust me, no one is going to buy her a crib! So, don’t ruin the surprise party and don’t worry about the gifts. The women that you invite will bring something appropriate for a new baby.
You could make it a gift card party, which isnt as much fun to open but then she could accumulate enough money to buy some of the more expensive products. I was a bit controlling with what Iwanted for my second child so I appreciated the giftcards a bit more then some of the other things I got.
sweetie just make a basket of some stuff like bibs and bottles and socks and stuff you thinks she needs and a lot of and you can never go wrong with that i just had a baby and i know how hard it is so get lots of diapers and wipes and she wont be mad
I would just leave it alone. She is the one who made the list, not you, so you shouldn’t feel weird about showing it to people. Then let them decide if they want to buy her the extravagant gifts or not. I agree, that she is unlikely to get any of them. But that is not your problem. And if you go to her and ask her to change the list (especially if she’s moody) I doubt it will have good results. Just casually mention the list, and let the chips fall where they may.